This maybe a tough one to swallow however imperative to put it out there: lovely people, not everyone is to come with on the journey that God has called you to.
It is a fact.
Sad but true😔.
A realization that has never gotten any easier to take in as I naturally tend to nurture. Thus in one way or another find myself attached to people and things that come my way. Mostly, such a slow fade that I hardly notice the process.
It does not have to be shiny or a statement piece, the sentimentality is what captures my heart.
Over three years ago, when I finally decided to stop running, God began taking me through seasons that pushed me to growth even when I did not feel like it🙄.
My resilience ranks quite high, honestly speaking though, the one thing that almost takes me out in those seasons is the pruning. When Papa decides that He needs to refine my circle or my stewardship skills🥺.
I stopped fighting the process as I slowly realized it hurts worse when I do so. I learnt to lead life so detached without the expectation of permanency as the training extended to the beautiful gifts He had bequeathed me as well.
Most often than not it happening when they are all new and shiny😣. It definitely was not an overnight experience neither an easy one to come to but I continually stand grateful as it refined my perception of how Daddy works by shedding light on His attributes.
I therefore, in one way or another, do heavily relate to Abraham’s predicament in Genesis 12 when he defied the given set of instructions only for circumstances to force his hand over it.
You see, at the call of Abraham then Abram, God was precise with His directions about it. It may have seemed out of this world a request to make, but it was in every way in Abraham’s interest.
Abraham was under the instruction to: Leave his country, leave his relatives, leave his father’s house. Instead, he left his country, left his father’s house and left with his relative, his nephew Lot.
What might have seemed like the best move to make at that instance, in reality cost him way more than he probably would have bargained for.
As captured in Genesis 13, a tiff broke out between his people and his nephew’s that had them go separate ways.
Immediately he does so, God speaks and continues as he reassures Abraham’s heart with promises.
That my friend, just struck my heart🥺.
The instance Abraham decided to walk in full obedience, God honoured it and continued revealing His heart for him.🙆🏽♀️
Through that passage and the next few, highlighted are the consequences that came with Abraham’s choosing to not follow through with part B of the instruction.
It cost both him and Lot so much unnecessary loss, pain and corruption cumulatively. Such great losses that my heart aches for Lot as my mind races to the different scenarios that would have turned out if he had been left behind.
You see, Abraham’s decision to have Lot come with was a rather natural one. I mean, responsibility called for him to take charge over his late brother’s son and to him it meant taking Lot with. I, for sure, know that I would do so in a heart beat. Fill in a gap that seems to be loudly calling for my attention without running it through with Papa.
Outside the understanding of God’s nature, I would fight Him so hard over it forgetting that I am limited in ways that I could be of assistance to my loved ones.
That my friends is the reason he retook that test, because similar to tertiary studies, in this walk of faith you resit papers that you failed😂.
Another fun fact😂. Ask Ibin.
As I digress.
God asking Abraham to sacrifice his son was an upgraded version of that test numero uno. He wanted to explore to what extend Abraham could be trusted before the culmination of the given promises. Once again, Abraham needed to leave his relative with the upgrade to this time being on an altar🥺. I cannot help but think that most probably, his resolve was courtesy of discerning this was the test he had miserably failed over two and half decades ago.
The advantage being that he had leveled up as well over the years and secured his heart in God. Thus it being the only reason Abraham may have obeyed maybe, even a combination of it and the thought that he might retake it later with much more at stake🤣. I do not know🤷🏽♀️.
I have however, found myself thinking along those lines. In those moments I come to the fact that I am resitting this test because my heart was swayed another way at the first occurrence🤦🏽♀️. It is in those moments, I remind my heart that Papa always works for my good even when I cannot seem to see it in that light.
I have found myself in the very same shoes, most recently being the first half that has been this year. Lingering over situations and people that should have been left at the point of completed assignment. Battling with being overwhelmed at the realization of it being a retake presented in what feels like a repeat of the given season.
I have, as a result, found myself in unnecessarily murky waters because sister girl wanted to abort the process that Papa was keen to see her go through. Fighting to have my heart secured on God being a perfect Father that has the best interest at heart for His children. The confidence that I will emerge victorious on the other side free of people and things that would have easily tripped me up, cheating me out of all that had been set aside for me by Papa. It is crazy, gut wrenching at times to say the least.😞
This nevertheless, remains to be my biggest lesson over the past decade:
Holding on under the directive to leave never did anyone good, none whatsoever.😣
Being very much aware of the truth that is:
Outside of the knowledge of His goodness, I was a lass on the run.
Under the understanding of His mercy, I am a bride submitted to her Groom.
My feet follow wherever He leads me
Hugs and kisses ❤️❤️
HIGHCARBLIVING 