It is interesting how God works.
Much more intriguing His confidence over His children that choose to learn how He operates and rest in His nature.
He literally has had us at a global village setup and called out ‘lights off’ having essentially everything coming to a screeching halt.
This isn’t new to me though, my Papa-carefree child relationship with Him has had me here one too many times than I’d like to reckon😂.
Packaged in a rather strong-willed nature, I mostly put up a fight before getting to stillness.🤦🏽♀️
Even more frustrating to me at times is, how He gets to use my own devices while running to have me at calm😂.
As a result, I have learnt to bask in these seasons as I sink in deeper in the single-minded pursuit of Him. It is easier said than done though.
Probably why JACOB stood out once again for me as a rather captivating persona. Strong willed and assertive whose moves kept looking questionable outlining him as quite deceitful a character amongst other not so flattering traits.
Nonetheless, a couple of encounters and experiences in this life journey triggered a change of perspective where he was concerned. The disclosure of what burned within him got me to appreciate Jacob more than I actually had.
I began seeing him as one who discerned what was for him way before he could get access to it. He knew there was so much more than what he had laid hands on.
The burning courtesy of hungering for more was what majorly drove his decisions. The yearning bigger and better that had the ‘child in his womb’ leap despite it constantly feeling out of reach.
Quite a frustrating space to be in, the not knowing how to get there.
Pushing it a notch higher with the trying to ‘assist’ God in getting there, not because he doubted His ability to bring it to pass but the hunger that seemed to be unsparingly consuming. Or, just maybe, by being lost at how the now would transform into the marvelously beautiful ending that He had promised.
He had his eyes locked on the goal but all it did was end in resounding disappointment, one after another.
His resolve is rather admirable.
Nevertheless, it was quite evident that a little bit of him chipped away with every coming experience. The cost of his actions on interactions were not lost on him neither as seen in Genesis 33.
I stood familiar to this very place, what seemed like a 21st century tweaked version of his story.
A place that almost took me out the last time I got myself there. It had me feeling lost and dazed for quite a while. Being exasperated by the vision God had been so generous to share with me whereas trying to find ways to rush there as everything around felt frozen.
I desperately needed an outlet and all it did would be likened to a quick sand sort of stuck. Subsequently, having the burden of that divulgence virtually having it turn into a total nightmare as I got rummaged by numerous questions😣.
How was I to get to the other end?
Was I ready to sign up for the process?
Would the Declaration of Independence from the Kingdom government, by choosing to hasten the undertaking through rebellion, a worthy venture?
Thus beginning a slow fade from the place of trusting and leaning on God to ‘aiding’ Him by fast forwarding or trying to entirely skimp on the process.
Leading me on the platform of being misunderstood, accelerating the tunnel vision take over.😞
That craving stirred by the image of where God needs you to be for optimum reign, stands unmatched.
It is the kind that consumes you from within all the way out.
It kindles about anticipation and excitement that makes you resilient to the hits and the hope for a better tomorrow burns within.
It may get you hazed.
Reality being, at the point of stepping out of the provisioned grace canopy, it stands as a lethal weapon.
So intense that it can wipe you out on the end of what dawns as a series of false starts.
Hence, a vision played out of alignment to submission is a concoction for death to slowly creep in.
A heartbreaking place to be at that also leaves you with a limp.
I’m not lost at that feeling of having felt like your plan got thrown out without consent, serious curve ball. It can be crippling for sure. The resolve to keep standing in faith comes from recognizing the goal to this race, the crown of life.
Therefore if anything, even in a season that seems to have you frozen yet your vision keeps screaming at you;
Calm your spirit little one.
Take a step back and breathe.
Bask in His goodness, soak it all in.
Thrive in the confidence of His nature.
Revel, without self preservation, in His giving. Strip away what is threatening to throw you off it.
Most especially, readjust your focus and you will begin to sense His grace.
It was at the instance that Jacob came to the end of himself where He encountered God and experienced a total turn around that came with a new name, Israel.
Thus find rest in Papa’s arms oh ye dreamer:
For you know who your Father is
and walk in the revelation truth that
He never leaves His children unattended.
Hugs and Kisses❤️❤️.
HIGHCARBLIVING 