Breaking Camp 🦅

I have a great appreciation for the spaces of indulgence, I see them as intimate havens.

All of it: from the edifying talks to humor filled banter and those that act as sounding boards as well.

Nevertheless, I have learnt to find joy in the staying silent.
Nope, not the being unreachable or distant but rather as an act of surrender.
It came with the recognition that my Father always knows better and each season has served its purpose.
The other bit to it would be, not wanting to talk about it anymore as I’m all talked out.😂
Also the being careful not to hover over a mountain longer than need be, not on my watch atleast.😅

That said, I have been in retrospection for a while and it just dawned on me that it has been a decade of what I would liken to variant levels of vehemence that kept escalating. 

Whatever began with my gravitation to intemperance led to the realization that it had everything to do with being groomed to who Papa has called me to be. 

It came with the total perspective shift by acknowledging that I am a conduit hence being needful to lead life by letting go and allowing God.

Nevertheless, these scars badges of honor may feel a tad bit too many, probably some were the price for recognizing that fire actually burns and it burns good😂.

In hindsight, I choose to celebrate the mix of it all for the deeper understanding it came with:

I now know what it is to be pruned, excruciating yet necessary: They call it being groomed, I choose to see it as reigning training👑.

I now know what it is to go through the fire and not burn, to be in rushing waters and not have them carry you with.

I now know what it is to love deeply and to have it suddenly taken away.

I now know what it is to have much and what it is to barely get by while diligently honoring God with it.

I now know what it is to walk bare feet for another to be in shoes.

I now know what it is to call back a loved one, in deep groaned wailing kind of prayer from the claws of death, twice.

 I now know what it is to walk in obedience even when my systems are struggling to comprehend it.

I now know what it is to be not so gently awakened in the night for a download and all I wanted to do is get back to sleep🤦🏽‍♀️.

I now know what it is to be asked to break camp and leave, when all I wanted to do is hold on and forge better bonds.

I now know what it is to keep strong in hope when all it felt like stood pale against a crazy battlefield.

I now know what it is to carry such a heavy burden for those you love, yet your mortal self could only do so much other than praying over them.

I now know what it is to walk in a mindfulness of another, yet have oneself in an unprecedented hailstorm courtesy of spaces of healing that one hasn’t allowed God to deal with.

I now know what it is to feel forgotten and constantly need reminders that He is still mindful of me.
(An uncomfortable truth this maybe).

I now know what it is to have such honest conversations with God over where I am at just as Job did, baring all in frustration and checking the polished composed look at the door for Him to speak life over me repetitively.

I now know what it means to be instructed to sign up for a project too huge with nothing seemingly in sight only to have Him open up those flood gates, making provision for each step of the way.
(His will, His bill )

I now know what it means to literally have your last jar of oil constantly on full, widow of Zarephath kind of full, for a month choked with crazy errands and heavy demands, in this 21st Century.
Ah! But God 😭🙌🏼!

I now know what He means by ‘I will be a hedge of fire around you, the Glory in your midst.’

I now know what Silence is Golden means: such a treasure indeed.

But above it all, 

I deeply know what it is to be loved so perfectly:
The kind that triggers a reckless abandonment towards your Lover❤️.

I deeply know what it means to be in the arms of the One who sings over me with rejoicing🥰.

I deeply know what it means to be rested in resounding confidence that Papa knows best, never late, always on time😌.

It was all for your good, as difficult as it may be to integrate that truth😔.

This season has served you little one, this place no longer profits you.

He is calling us to go higher with Him.

He is ushering us to a better place as He takes delight in us.

It is time to Level Up.

It is time to Soar 🦅.

 

Hugs and Kisses❤️❤️