Taking stock started early for me this time round in preparation for the coming year; a sis had been through enough.
I needed to be in a place of continual reminders of God’s goodness over my life. This walk of faith does not come without a fight.
In one of those days as I waited on God in the living room in the wee hours of the morning, the story of Balaam and his interaction with Balak came to mind.
You see, a fair share of this faith journey held many encounters which yearned for greater closure compared to most. I was confident God had instructed on the way I had taken yet there were spaces that I came up empty despite the expected.
For the first time a different expression became evident in that passage: the importance of knowing the Father’s heart.
In that very instance, I felt a calming sense of closure take over me.
For certain, I was right over the fact that where I stood was sent of God and I heard right. However, for most of those spaces, I was so preoccupied with what He said rather than capturing God’s heart over the said matters.
All the tears and sleepless nights were truly an ‘unnecessary’ experience if I just had my focus right:
What’s on Papa’s heart even as He releases these set of directives?
In pursuit of that which is of Him and to live in alignment with what God is saying about me; that is a surrendered life, my clarity faded.
I had been quick to move rather than lean in closer to He who held my heart. God was calling a sis towards a deeper level of intimacy not just as an experience but as a place of habitation and coexistence.
Therefore like Balaam, I found myself at point of reckoning while taking stock.
Balaam operated in accuracy and deep knowledge of the supernatural, yet in the depth of his assignment, he subconsciously chose otherwise.
God was clear in instruction issued to Balaam nevertheless, the authority he wielded as a prophet was what Papa was counting on to the execution of His will.
It was quite clear: A people blessed by God cannot be cursed. Even so, Balaam went ahead to honour the invite of Balak, allure of the gifts/benefits stood greater than his resolve. Bringing clarity as to why God sent forth an angel to stop Balaam at his tracks perhaps even redirect to realign his heart.
Truthfully, God told him to leave with Balak’s company upon the second inquiry from him and he was just following suit. However, there was a first NO and a disapproval of what Balaam was upto: he shouldn’t have been flirting with the idea to begin with and which God evidently portrays when He asks ‘Who are these people in your house?’.
He should have known better.
This was the platform of the slippery slope that followed soon after.
Thus as we look to getting through this coming new year, probably consider leaning in closer to Papa and resolve to be a student of His heart.
Pursue an alignment of hearts and even at the place of diversion seek penitence.
At the end of race, what matters all through is that it was for the audience of ONE.
Hugs & Kisses
HIGHCARBLIVING 